joke

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4 years 5 months

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Marriage is a 3-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
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8 years 6 months

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maan456 I do like those - rich in cynicism. Meddle - we've found someone to your liking - a humourist.

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8 years 6 months

Posts: 6,467

My wife said to me: "I'm leaving you". I said: " Why?" She said: " Because you don't take me seriously" I just laughed.

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8 years 6 months

Posts: 6,467

An Aussie called by the unlikely name of Bruce bounced into his local and with a big grin on his face said to his mates: "Drinks are on me" One of them asked what was the occasion. Bruce said that after trying for umpteen years his wife back in Oz had just given birth to their first child a boy weighing in at 25lbs "Jeez Bruce - 25lb? That's a bit extreme ! " A female customer listening nearby, fainted and fell on the floor. Bruce said: "Well that's Oz for you, everything oversized and extreme". Three weeks went by and then in came Bruce to his local. One of his mates asked how the new arrival was doing. Bruce said: "Very well. Keeping them all awake and he now weighs 17lb" His mate said: "Hang on, the baby weighed 25lb at birth and now three weeks later weighs 17lb, something's wrong !" "No mate, everythings ok", said Bruce. "He's just left hospital after being circumcised".

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The longest sentence in the English Language....................... I do.

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Tommy and Mary have been together for 56 years, they have 4 sons, 3 successful healthy fit men who have done well are now married with family of their own, the youngest was always a smaller, sickly child and still lives at home, but time has caught up with Tommy and his end is near, Tommy says, we have had a good life Mary, just one little thing has always bothered me, tell me before I go, is our youngest my son?, Mary says yes Tommy he is your son, with that Tommy whispers his thanks and slips away. The priest has been stood by during this and says to Mary, now Mary you wouldn't have lied to a dying man would you?, Mary answers, certainly not Father, just glad he didn't ask about the other 3.
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Women, you can't live with them, and you can't live,............ hang on a minute, "I CAN". Jim. Lincoln .7
Profile picture for user Lincoln 7

Member for

9 years 4 months

Posts: 8,306

My wife said to me: "I'm leaving you". I said: " Why?" She said: " Because you don't take me seriously" I just laughed.
More truth in that John than you realise ! Jim. Lincoln .7